a Choreographic Score (to recognize bodily discomforts) • 2021

This 8 minute film is my alternative to making movement through space while in isolation. Made for viewers to focus inward, acknowledging the sensations we've been culturally conditioned to accept or ignore, this is one of my approaches to decolonizing our culture and our relationships with our bodies.

Our nervous systems signal to us about sensations that are important to our health, and protect us from our own actions. Some pain is significant; it can indicate that we need to take better care of an area of the body. For example, a stomach ache may be a symptom of anxiety, which could over time develop into an ulcer. If your gums hurt and bleed when you brush, it could be a sign that you may need to brush more, floss, massage your gums, or see a dentist. “No pain, no gain.” we say. We are quite capable to override initial instincts, and learn to ignore how we feel. Sometimes, we don’t listen our nervous systems’ signals in order to do the things we want or need to do, like learn a challenging skill. We often put up with social and physical harms in order to earn a living or gain approval. Survival allows us to manage our internal signals and external harms, but at what cost?

Because harm is undervalued in our capitalistic culture, we don’t have a socially acceptable time or place to work through it. In some cases, it can be an empowering choice to accept pain on our own terms. Sometimes though, we’re conditioned to subvert or ignore a negative sensation. Our nervous systems can instinctively lead us to respond to harmful experiences in a number of ways. We automatically know how to flinch, laugh, cry, shiver, yawn; we may lose the ability to think or pay attention, our eyes lose focus, we get tired and feel heavy, we overeat, seek other stimuli, or retreat from contact.